在同志正典化（homonormativity）的時代，婚姻和家庭等異性戀價值往往是進步與幸福的象徵。而負面情感、衣櫃羞恥則是容易被視為同志平權運動的絆腳石。然而，這些衣櫃同志仍是真實的存在，那些被視為落後、過時的負面情感，也仍是建構同志生命經驗不可或缺的一部分。

本研究主要受到海澀愛（Heather Love）、茱蒂斯‧哈柏斯坦（Judith Halberstam）和莎拉‧艾哈邁德（Sara Ahmed）等人的論述啟發，主張負面情感與衣櫃羞恥具有能動性，並透過策劃與實踐《親密衣櫃｜同志負面情感迷你影展》，試圖強調負面情感在同志生命經驗中的重要性，並翻轉衣櫃羞恥為正面動能。

上述影展是以「返回」（retrograde）的概念為策展核心。一方面藉由放映負面情感的同志電影，主張回望多元性別主體的創傷與苦難；一方面以私密、小團體的放映形式，試圖回歸如同志衣櫃般親暱、安全的對話空間，其旨在創造一個以負面情感為連結的同志社群，使觀眾在參展過程中彼此看見、理解與支持。

本文將闡述此影展之策展理念、選片分析、實踐策略及自我反思等，並探討此影展操作如何以負面情感為基礎締結聯盟。

In the swirls of homonormativity that promotes marriage and family by sugarcoating it with the promise of happiness, the shame of the closet is often regarded as a blockage of the advocacy of tongzhi rights and a just society. However, negative affect prevails in tongzhi’s everyday life, and the killjoys, the abject counterpart of happy objects, are indeed parts of the tongzhi community.

Informed by queer theories of Heather Love, Judith Halberstam, and Sara Ahmed that consider bad feelings as the ground for personal and social transformation, the objective of my project is to reclaim tongzhi negative affect and to make a queer turn to tongzhi shame by curating a film festival titled “As Closeted｜the LGBT Feel-Bad Mini Film Festival.”

The concept of retrograde is the central theme of my festival. In light of this, the programming is organized to represent a retrograde route that revisits the negative affectivity of tongzhi, and the way of exhibition is also retrograde as the chosen films are intentionally shown in a semi-private venue with a small group of people. This particular planning hopes, through watching films together, to foster a community founded upon sharing bad feelings so its members can feel a sense of being understood, connected, and supported among fellow audiences.

The self-reflective study of the film festival argues that a film festival is an effective way of grouping like-mined people to share, and there is a need of a feel-bad community as a support system that validates instead of denies negative feelings in which tongzhi affect aliens immerse.

Acknowledgements i
Abstract ii
Chinese Abstract iii

I. Curatorial Statement 1
A. Reclaiming Bad Feelings 1
B. Making the Film Festival a Ghetto 3
C. In Quest of a Supportive Community and Belonging 6

II. Literature Review 9
A. Be Gayer or Not 9
B. Let Darkness Remains Darkness 13
C. In/Out of the Tongzhi Closet 16

III. Film Selection 19
A. Call Me By Your Name 20
B. Moonlight 21
C. Blue is the Warmest Colour 22
D. Orchids: My Intersex Adventure 23

IV. An Analysis of “As Closeted｜The LGBT Feel-Bad Mini Film Festival” 23
A. Curating Strategies 24
B. Self-Reflective Analysis 29

V. Conclusion 35

Works Cited 38
Appendix 45

#Books#

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(4) Chi, Ta-Wei. A Queer Invention in Taiwan: A History of Tongzhi Literature. Taipei: Liking, 2017. Print.
紀大偉。《台灣的發明：同志文學史》。台北：聯經出版，2017年。
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(6) Chang, Hsiao-Hung. Queer Desire: Gender and Sexuality. Taipei: UNITAS, 1996. Print.
張小虹。《慾望新地圖: 性別・同志學》。台北：聯合文學，1996年。
(7) Coleman, Edmond J, and Wah-Shan Chou. Tongzhi: Politics of Same-Sex Eroticism in Chinese Societies. New York: Routledge, 2013. Print.
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(11) Galt, Rosalind, and Karl Schoonover. Global Art Cinema: New Theories and Histories. New York: Oxford University Press, 2010. Print.
(12) Halberstam, Judith. In a Queer Time and Place: Transgender Bodies, Subcultural Lives. New York and London: New York University Press, 2005. Print.
(13) ---. The Queer Art of Failure. Durham: Duke University Press, 2011. Print.
(14) Love, Heather. Feeling Backward: Loss And the Politics of Queer History. London: Harvard University Press, 2007. Print.
(15) ---. "On the Politics of Emotion: Feeling Backward, Feeling Bad." Trans. Yu-Ping Zhang. Queer/Affect/Politics: Selected Essays by Heather Love. New Taipei City: Shen-Lou, 2012. 175-195. Print.
〈論情感政治：感覺倒退、感覺「背」〉。張瑜玶譯。《酷兒˙情感˙政治：海澀愛文選》。新北市：蜃樓，2012年。頁175-195。
(16) Munt, Sally R. Queer Attachment: The Cultural Politics of Shame. Aldershot: Ashgate, 2008. Print.
(17) Perriam, Chris, and Darren Waldron. French and Spanish Queer Film: Audiences, Communities and Cultural Exchange. Edinburgh: Edinburgh University Press, 2016. Print.
(18) Richards, Stuart James. The Queer Film Festival: Popcorn and Politics. New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2016. Print.
(19) Rubin, Gayle S. “Thinking Sex: Notes for a Radical Theory of the Politics of Sexuality.” Culture, Society, and Sexuality: A Reader. Ed. Richard Parker and Peter Aggleton. London: UCL Press, 1999. 143-178. Print.
(20) Sedgwick, Eve Kosofsky. Epistemology of the Closet. Berkeley and Los Angeles: University of California Press, 1990. Print.
(21) Wang, Chun-Chi. “Market Visibility: The Development and Vicissitudes of Tongzhi Cinema in Taiwan.” Perverse Taiwan. Ed. Howard Chiang and Yin Wang. London and New York: Routledge, 2017. 161-182. Print.
(22) Zielinski, Ger. “On Studying Film Festival Ephemera: The Case of Queer Film Festivals and Archives of Feelings.” Film Festivals: History, Theory, Method, Practice. New York: Routledge, 2016. 138-158. Print.

#Periodicals#

(1) Chien, Tsu-Chieh. “From ‘Same Sex Marriage’ to ‘Pluralistic Family Arrangements’: The Legislative Movement for Democratic Intimate Relationship.” Taiwan Human Rights Journal 1.3 (2012): 187-201. Web. 24 Jan. 2018.
簡至潔。〈從「同性婚姻」到「多元家庭」-朝向親密關係民主化的立法運動〉。《台灣人權學刊》第1卷第3期（2012年）：頁187-201。
(2) Chu, Wei-Cheng. “Coming Out or Not: Postcolonial Autonomy and\Gay\Activism in Taiwan.” Taiwan: A Radical Quarterly in Social Sciences 30 (1998): 35-62. Print.
朱偉誠。〈台灣同志運動的後殖民思考─論「現身」問題〉。《台灣社會研究季刊》第30期（1998年）：頁35-62。
(3) Devesa, María, Andrea Báez, Victor Figueroa, and Luis César Herrero. “Factors Determining Attendance at a Film Festival.” Event Management 19 (2015): 317-330. Print.
(4) Dickson, Lesley-Ann. “‘Ah! Other Bodies!’: Embodied Spaces, Pleasures and Practices at Glasgow Film Festival.” Participations: Journal of Audience & Reception Studies 12.1 (2015): 703-724. Print.
(5) Fung, Richard. “Programming the Public.” GLQ: A Journal of Lesbian and Gay Studies 5.1 (1999): 89-93. Print.
(6) Hsu, Victoria Hsiu-Wen. “Colors of Rainbow, Shades of Family: The Road to Marriage Equality and Democratization of Intimacy in Taiwan.” Georgetown Journal of International Affairs 16.2 (2015): 154-164. Web. 5 May 2018.
(7) Kim, Jeongmin. "Queer Cultural Movements and Local Counterpublics of Sexuality: A Case of Seoul Queer Films and Videos Festival." Trans. Sunghee HONG. Inter-Asia Cultural Studies 8.4 (2007): 617-633. Print.
(8) Lin, Xian-Xiu. “Tongzhi Yun Dong De Wu Tou Gong An.” Stir 4 (1997): 62-66. Print.
林賢修。〈同志運動的無頭公案〉。《騷動》第4期（1997年）：頁62-66。
(9) Love, Heather. “Compulsory Happiness and Queer Existence.” New Formations: A Journal of Culture/Theory/Politics 63 (2008): 52-64. Print.
(10) Rich, B. Ruby. “Collision, Catastrophe, Celebration: The Relationship Between Gay and Lesbian Film Festivals and Their Publics.” GLQ: A Journal of Lesbian and Gay Studies 5.1 (1999): 79-84. Print.

#Online Sources#

(1) Davies, Lyell. “Not Only Projections in a Dark Room: Theorizing Activist Film Festivals in the Lives of Campaigns and Social Movements.” Frames Cinema Journal. University of St Andrews and Contributors, 2018. Web. 4 Nov. 2018.
(2) “Introduction & History.” Women Make Waves Film Festival Taiwan. Taiwan Women’s Film Association & WMWFF, n.d. Web. 2 May 2017.
(3) “It-Gets-Better-Project.” Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia. Wikimedia Foundation, Inc., n.d. Web. 12 Dec. 2018.
(4) Jia, Xuan-Ning. “The Answer of WMWFF in 23 Years: Shall We Feel Proud of Taiwan’s Gender Equality?.” Initium. Initium Media, 15 Nov. 2016. Web. 19 Mar. 2017.
賈選凝。〈23年女性影展的答案：台灣的「性別平權」值得引以為傲嗎？〉。端傳媒，2016年11月15日。2017年3月19日讀取。
(5) Lin, Jay. “2016 Foreword” Taiwan International Queer Film Festival. Taiwan International Media and Education Association, n.d. Web. 11 May 2017.
(6) Lin, Xin-Hong. “2017 Foreword From the Chairperson/Curator of TIQFF.” Taiwan International Queer Film Festival. Taiwan International Media and Education Association (TIMEA), n.d. Web. 18 May 2018.
林杏鴻。〈2017影展主席及策展人序〉。台灣國際酷兒影展。2018年5月18日讀取。
(7) Man, Man-Shuo. "To Be Proud of Being Queer! An Interview of the Curator of TIQFF Jay Lin: Don’t Be Selfish But True to Yourself." Womany.net. Womany.net, 2 Oct. 2015. Web. 9 Mar. 2017.
慢慢說。〈為不同於典型驕傲著！專訪酷兒影展策展人林志杰：誠實面對自我，但不只考慮自己〉。女人迷，2015年10月2日。2017年3月9日讀取。
(8) “Same-Sex Marriage.” Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia. Wikimedia Foundation, Inc., n.d. Web. 12 Dec. 2018.
〈同性婚姻〉。維基百科，2018年12月12日讀取。
(9) “TIQFF 2015 Announcement: The 2nd Taiwan Queer Award Finalists Are Here!” Taiwan International Queer Film Festival. Taiwan International Media and Education Association (TIMEA), 14 Aug. 2015. Web. 11 May 2017.

#Dissertation#

(1) Jang, Chiau-Yu. “A Study of Gay Novels and Queer Novels on Erotic Writing (1960-2007).” Diss. Tamkang University, 2009. Print.
張巧瑜。〈台灣同志小說與酷兒小說情慾書寫研究1960-2007〉。碩士論文，淡江大學，2009年。
(2) Wu, Jui-Yuan. “As a ‘Bad’ Son: The Emergence of Modern Homosexuals in Taiwan.” Diss. National Central University, 1998. Print.
吳瑞元。〈孽子的印記：台灣近代男性[同性戀]的浮現 1970-1990〉。碩士論文，國立中央大學，1998年。

#Film#

(1) Abuse of Weakness. Dir. Catherine Breillat. Perf. Isabelle Huppert and Kool Shen. Rézo Films, 2013. Film.
(2) A to Z：The Alphabet of Feeling Bad. Dir. Karin Michalski. Perf. Ann Cvetkovich. 2012. Film.
(3) Brokeback Mountain. Dir. Lee Ang. Perf. Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger. Focus Features, 2006. Film.
(4) Blue is the Warmest Colour. Dir. Abdellatif Kechiche. Perf. Léa Seydoux and Adèle Exarchopoulos. Wild Bunch, 2013. Film.
(5) Call Me By Your Name. Dir. Luca Guadagnino. Perf. Armie Hammer and Timothée Chalamet. Frenesy Film Company, 2017. Film.
(6) Moonlight. Dir. Barry Jenkins. Perf. Trevante Rhodes. A24, 2016. Film.
(7) Orchids: My Intersex Adventure. Dir. Phoebe Hart. Perf. Phoebe Hart. Hartflicker Moving Pictures, 2010. Films.
(8) Stonewall. Dir. Roland Emmerich. Perf. Jeremy Irvine and Jonny Beauchamp. Roadside Attractions, 2015. Film.
(9) Tomboy. Dir. Céline Sciamma. Perf. Zoé Héran. Hold Up Films, 2011. Films.
(10) Visible Silence. Dir. Ruth Gumnit. Marea Media. 2015. Film.

#Music Video#

We’re All Different, Yet the Same. Dir. Chi-Jan Hou. Perf. Jolin Tsai and Ruby Lin. Warner Music, 2014. Music Video.
《不一樣又怎樣》。侯季然導演。蔡依林、林心如主演。華納國際音樂股份有限公司，2014年。

#Television#

Ordinary Love. Sanlih E-Television Inc., Taiwan, 2013. Television.
《世間情》。三立電視。台灣，2013年。